


Attraction

by Jennifer_Collins



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Black Widow - Freeform, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Intense Relationships, Iron Widow - Freeform, IronWidow - Freeform, Longing, Lust, Oral Sex, Rebound, Sexual Content, Smut, Tonynat, physical attraction, shameless flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-01-16 14:37:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21272822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennifer_Collins/pseuds/Jennifer_Collins
Summary: There's a fine line between lust and loathing and that line gets blurred easily when you're forced to work with somebody you can barely tolerate, but also kind of care about. And Tony had a way of coming back from the brink of death many times over, and still looking like a rockstar while he was doing it.





	1. Chapter 1

“Natalie! Have you seen Tony?” 

She shook her head, a heightened sense of alarm coursing through her as she glanced sympathetically at the taller woman.

Pepper groaned, then stalked off to go find him.

She sighed inwardly as she did a lap around the room. The party was in full swing, the beat from the dj’s box reverberating off the walls, which were packed in between with crowds of drunken, dancing people. 

A quick scan of the space turned up no results, and she cursed herself for taking her eyes off of him for even one second, knowing that he could be anywhere by now and up to anything in his scared, reckless state. 

She prepared to dive into the crowds, she had no other choice if she was going to find him before he hurt himself. 

Someone touched her elbow from behind and her Black Widow instincts kicked in as she whirled around, ready for anything. 

“Hey,” He said in an even tone, his vest unbuttoned, tie loose and hands shoved in his pockets. 

“Mr. Stark,” she said lightly, touching a hand to her chest to get back into character. “You scared me.” 

He nodded his head behind him, gesturing for her to follow and she looked around for Pepper, but there was no sign of her so she followed him out the exit in the back of the room. 

“You said I should do whatever I wanted, with whoever I wanted to, right?” He said, his eyes hidden behind his dark glasses. 

She nodded wordlessly. 

He cocked his head to the side. “So, do you want to make out or what?” 

She tried to think for a moment, but he reached behind him and opened a door without waiting for an answer, leading her into a small, private conference room behind the ballroom. 

Her mind sifted through the many reasons why she shouldn’t be doing this, and certainly not while she was undercover, but then he kissed her and she started to mentally process how she could use this turn of events to her advantage. 

When Director Fury himself had first tasked her with this mission, she thought she’d known exactly what she was getting into. She’d seen the news reports, read all the stories and was well versed in what the public knew of his privileged and tragic family life, she knew what the terrorists had done to him while he spent 92 days in captivity in the middle east, knew all about how he’d escaped and what he’d declared his new mission to be and what the effects of his new life were doing to his body. 

Fury had gone into great detail in explaining to her what would soon happen to him if he couldn’t save himself and as collected as she always was, she couldn’t help cringing every time she thought about it. 

But no amount of studying and confidential conversation could have prepared her for the scared, broken man hidden under layers of eccentricity, sarcasm, and self loathing disguised as obnoxiousness that she’d come into contact with. 

Which is why, as she leaned into his sloppy kisses, sliding her hand down his chest and clumsily unbuttoning his dress shirt, she told herself it would be for research purposes only, just to see how badly the poison was affecting him. 

He grunted softly, taking his hands off her hips long enough to catch her wrists in his fingers. “Sorry, baby, but the shirt stays on,” he murmured. 

She reluctantly conceded, settling instead to push her hands up under his clothes and see what she could find out with her fingertips. 

One of his hands was back to her waist, pulling her closer against him while the other fumbled with the buttons at his neck, but it was too late. She’d already seen the precise lines of the dark rash that she knew was stemming from the center of his chest and it shook her. 

She moved her hands over his body, feeling the raised bits of flesh where the poison was spreading under his skin even as they kissed heatedly in the dim conference room, his lust-filled panting undoubtedly drowned out by the music and the noise from the party in the room behind them. 

He was clearly enjoying himself anyway, making sure she knew it too as he bucked up against her and she had to admit that his wandering hands and hungry mouth were getting her worked up. 

She’d been highly trained in the art of using her body to get what she needed from a mark and it was a skill that she was actually quite proud of. She was sure if she kept her mouth pressed to his neck and her hands teasing at his belt loops for just a few more minutes he’d forget the fact that he wasn’t eager to shed his clothing, but a part of her thought maybe if this really was the last birthday party he’d have she would let him enjoy it on his own terms for now. And it was more than just the part of her that had his hands tangled in her hair, pulling her head back to expose more of her throat to his wandering mouth. 

She should probably stop him before he went too far, but her eyes closed as his mouth ducked lower, kissing over the tops of her breasts that were exposed by the plunging, push-up bodice of her tight cheetah print dress and she pushed her hands through his hair as his tongue explored her skin. 

If she was honest with herself, he wasn’t entirely unattractive, quite the opposite, even in his inebriated state. His arms were strong around her, and he had a compact, unassumingly muscular build with charming features that were both sharp and smooth at the same time, much like his projected persona.

Years and years and countless missions in her former home country, followed by a brief period of muddy assignments once she’d defected to the states had her using her body for every reason besides making her own choices. 

Why shouldn’t she do something that she wanted to do, for once, with someone that she wanted to it with?

Which is why she now had him with his back against the wall, his eyes rolling back into his head, and his pants around his ankles while she dropped to her knees, with his birthday party still going on the other side of the wall. 

XXXXX

Of course he’d be mad when he found out. Of course he’d take it personally and of course his spoiled, entitled ego would lash out. She’d expected that. What she hadn’t expected was the look of hurt and betrayal in his eyes that flickered across his face for just a split second before he masked it behind his viscious wit and biting sarcasm. God, he was obnoxious. 

At least his color was back to normal and the fire was back in his big brown eyes. 

“Na-tash-a,” he pronounced slowly, gazing at her over the rim of his dark glasses. “Is there anything about you that’s real?” 

He snaked his hand through her hair, tugging on her long curls. “Oh, good. I like girls with long hair.” 

She pressed her lips together in a tight line, determined not to let him see her annoyance. 

As soon as she stepped into her quarters at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, she yanked her knife from its holster on her thigh and gathered her hair in one hand, hacking it off as quickly as she could.


	2. Chapter 2

He spun once around restlessly in a moving chair on the helicarrier, drumming his fingers against the console to release some nervous energy. 

“Just to be clear, there’s no hard feelings, right?” He said, pushing his glasses up on the top of his head. 

She shook her head. “Not on my end. You?” 

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Look, I’m a brat and I hold grudges easily whether they’re warranted or not.” 

She snorted. 

He held up a finger, signaling that she should let him continue. “BUT, I’m starting to learn what happens when you have a certain sense of duty that you have to abide by if you want to be able to live with yourself.” 

She gazed at him thoughtfully, caught off guard by his sudden candidness. 

“You were just doing your job, I get it,” He said. “I suppose I can let you off the hook.” 

She smiled. “Thanks,” she said quietly. 

“This Barton guy, you sleeping with him?” 

Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t think that’s any of your business,” she said shortly, her voice tinged with her irritation. 

He shrugged. “Either way, wanna come sit on my lap?” 

She groaned, angry with herself for letting him see the effect he was having on her and he grinned, a wide, obnoxious smile. 

XXXXX

She looked up at the sky with the staff in her hand, holding her breath while she waited for him to reappear. As much of a jerk as he’d acted, she knew it was just that- an act that he put on to buy himself some time while he figured out how to work as part of this team that none of them had chosen to be on. 

“Come on, Stark,” she murmured, her grip tightening on the staff. The victory in her hand wouldn’t mean quite as much if they’d lost him. 

She could hear Steve asking over their headsets if anyone had seen him come down, but no one answered. 

The minutes felt like hours and then he reappeared, falling back down to the earth at an alarmingly increasing pace and she rushed to join the others as they moved towards him.   
He was unconscious, but she could see that he was still alive and a small relieved smile crept across her face as she wondered how many lives this guy had after all. 

He came to with a start, demanding that they all grab lunch after a quick pit stop at his tower to tie up some loose ends. 

After they’d all converged on Loki and managed to apprehend him, the group of reluctant heroes followed Tony to the place he’d referenced. 

No one spoke as they ate, barely glancing at each other, but she sensed a growing camaraderie among them. Leave it to the one who’d unwittingly brought them together as a team in the first place to be the one to bring them together in a more relaxed setting. Maybe her initial ruling that he wouldn’t play nice had been slightly misguided.

XXXXX

“You going to miss me?” He asked with his head cocked to the side, his arm leaning against the bar in the tower. 

“Not even a little,” she said teasingly, gazing to where the others were starting to say goodbye to each other. “Besides, I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing each other again sometime.” 

"Riiiiiight,” he said. “The whole saving the world thing and all that. Honestly, I think I’ve had enough of it for awhile. Probably time for a vacation.” 

She smiled as he put his glasses on his face, taking in his fairly clean appearance despite his mussed up hair and blackening eye. “Of course you would be the one to come back from a near death experience looking like a rockstar,” she said. 

He flashed her a dazzling smile. “Like what you see?” 

She rolled her eyes. “You wish.” 

“You have no idea,” he murmured and her eyes widened as he took a step closer, uncrossing his arms from over his chest long enough to reach out a hand to ruffle her short curls.   
Her shoulders tensed, but she didn’t step away so he leaned in closer. “I like this too,” he whispered, tapping a finger on the ends of her hair.


	3. Chapter 3

The newscasters were having a field day talking about his PTSD with every broadcast and she rolled her eyes every time she heard it. The man was saving countless lives, either with or without the Avengers and endlessly putting his own life in danger while he was doing it, couldn’t they at least have the decency to not make a public spectacle of the state of his mental health? 

XXXXX

She was on a mission in Bulgaria with Clint when they’d heard it. Stark had famously challenged a terrorist, calling him out on national tv and now his mansion had been blown up beyond all recognition and repair. 

She thumbed through the notifications on her phone, and she covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes tearing up as she watched a clip of the explosion. 

Clint looked on over her shoulder, an expression of horror clouding his normally clear and collected eyes. “I’ll get Fury on the phone, see what he knows,” he murmured. 

“I-I’m going to see if he’ll p-pick up on his secure line,” she said, her voice wavering as she held the phone up to her ear. 

She called his personal cell, his Stark Industries cell, and the phone that Fury had given him to stay in confidential contact with S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel, but there was no answer. Multiple calls to Rhodey and Pepper had gone unanswered too. 

Days went by with no sign of Tony Stark or Iron Man and the fear that had been building now stayed in the bottom of her gut, cold and sharp like the business end of a blade. 

“It’s Stark. He’s survived through much worse, right? The man is indestructible,” Clint would say on the idle days when she cried. 

But for the first time in the three years since she’d met the man, she wasn’t so sure.

XXXXX

Four of the Avengers- minus Thor, although he had asked about Tony’s well-being even though to their knowledge he’d been off-world since New York- all sat outside of Stark’s recovery room. 

“He’s still a little out of it, but I’m sure he’ll want to see you all,” Pepper said with a tired smile. 

“One at a time,” Rhodey added. “He did just have major surgery.” 

Natasha raised an eyebrow at Bruce, figuring that he’d want to go first, but he motioned for her to go ahead. “You’ve known him the longest,” He said. 

She nodded, taking a deep breath as she knocked softly on the door before entering. 

He looked up when he saw her. 

“Hey,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady. 

He managed a small smile. 

She took a few steps closer, taking in the many machines that he was still hooked up to. 

“Looks scarier than it is,” he said, his voice low and quiet as he patted the space next to him. 

She sat down carefully on the bed, taking his hand in hers. “I don’t know. You gave us quite a scare. When you got your house blown up and when you were having heart surgery.” 

“Us?” He asked. 

She nodded. “The guys are right outside, waiting to see you. Bruce, Steve, Clint…” 

“Hmmm,” he said. “And I thought you said I couldn’t play well with others.” 

She smiled softly. “Yeah, well. I might have been a little misguided by my emotions when I said that.” 

He raised an eyebrow, looking down at their conjoined hands. “And what do you think this is?” 

“I-I don’t know.” 

“I do,” he said with a grin. “Just another excuse to try to see me without a shirt.” 

She grinned back, gesturing to the bandage wrapped around his chest. “It’s really gone?” 

He nodded slowly. “It’s really gone,” he repeated. “Guess the man with a broken heart got it fixed after all.” 

“Tony…” She whispered, reaching a hand out to push his hair back. 

He closed his eyes at her gentle caress. “I don’t suppose you’d want to get down in this bed with me?” 

“Always a rockstar,” she said. She slowly sank down into the bed beside him, careful not to disturb any of the wires as she lay on her side, propping herself up with her elbow to keep her weight off of anything important. 

His eyes widened. “I don’t think I’m awake enough to enjoy this properly.” 

“Easy there, Tiger,” she said. “You just had major heart surgery. I’m not going to do anything that will give you a heart attack right now.” 

“But you will do something later?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows mischievously. 

“You might want to try answering your cell phone once in awhile first,” she teased.


	4. Chapter 4

“Here, try this on,” he said, leaning against the doorframe of her new quarters in what would eventually be, once finished, the Avengers base. 

“A tour of the new compound, and a new suit? I’m so spoiled,” She said, taking the garment from him. 

She closed the door on him while she changed, not wanting to think about how he’d gotten her measurements when she hadn’t ever given them to him. 

The new suit fit like a glove-literally, she was not in the least bit surprised to discover that it was even tighter than any of her old ones. She was pleased to see the ease with which it moved with her, making her feel weightless and powerful and it didn’t hurt that the design was more badass than anything she’d worn previously. And yes, it was extremely flattering on her hips and chest areas. 

She grinned as she walked out of the door and into the spacious hall, twirling around to show it off and he whistled his appreciation. 

“Damn, it looks even hotter than I’d originally pictured,” he said. 

“Yeah, well it feels amazing!” She said happily. “But I guess you’re right, it does make my tits look good.” 

He cocked his head to one side. “You don’t need a superhero suit to make your tits look good. They always look good.” 

She looked up at him. “Watch it, Stark. You’re in a committed relationship now.” 

“Doesn’t mean I’ve gone blind. Here, test these out. Careful though. They pack about seventy-percent more firepower than your Widow’s Bite.” 

She took the batons from him, testing out the weight in her hand, her eyes widening when she felt the charge she was able to create between her hands. 

“Figured it was time for an upgrade if you’re going to keep playing with the big boys.” 

“I’m impressed.” 

“Don’t go bragging about it to anyone yet. I haven’t finished all the upgrades, so no spoiler alerts until the others get their gear.” 

She nodded. “Understood. Do I get to see yours?” 

He smirked. “Come on down to my lab and I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” 

XXXXX

She was far from being a stranger to worrying about Clint’s well-being and really the well-being of any of her teammates nowadays, but seeing him go down in the middle of a battlefield never stopped being stressful on the emotions she worked so hard to keep at bay and tonight she was just ready for a party. 

The compound was near completion and she was eager to spend the night letting loose with her companions, plus she was looking forward to seeing Sam again and she couldn’t help letting her mind wander over how Bruce would look all dressed up. 

She’d chosen a sleek, form-fitting black and white dress to compliment her pale skin and bright red curls and red lips formed a genuine smile when Tony’s eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw her. If Banner’s reaction to her attire was even a fraction of Tony’s overdramatic appraisal, she’d be well on her way. 

He offered her his arm and she eagerly took it, linking her elbow with his and holding onto his bicep, which she couldn’t help noticing was definitely more toned than the last time she’d seen him. The New York sun hadn’t been too bad on his skin either and whoever his current designer was had done a fantastic job of making sure his custom tailored suit showed off his broad shoulders and narrow waistline. 

“You look absolutely exquisite tonight, Ms. Romanoff,” he murmured as he escorted her to the room where the party would be held. 

“You’re not so bad yourself, Stark,” she purred with a bright smile. 

“What do you say we skip this shindig and head on upstairs?” 

She raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you still with Pepper?” 

A closer look at his teasing expression showed her that he hadn’t been serious. She didn’t think. 

“I am actually. Can you believe it? Longest relationship I’ve ever been in. And you… clearly are hoping to catch someone else’s affection tonight,” he said. 

She looked down at her heels. 

He led her through the open doors and already she was starting to spot people they knew amongst the guests in crowd. 

“Although I do have to admit, part of me wishes that if you were going to be attracted to the nerdy, science geek type that you would’ve figured that out three years ago,” he murmured softly. 

She looked up at him, already hiding behind his dark glasses, a custom one of a kind piece she hadn’t seen before. “There’s nothing nerdy about you, Stark,” she whispered.   
He smiled wistfully before excusing himself to go greet his guests.

XXXXX

She frowned, glancing out the window as she saw Fury make his exit from the barn. Tony hadn’t followed him out, and Bruce had told her that Pepper had broken up with him over the phone. Again. If ever there was an example of an on-again, off-again celebrity relationship, she was sure that Tony Stark and Pepper Potts were it. 

Things were already tense between the team and with all the guilt he’d been masking over the whole situation with Ultron and the fear he’d been not so good at masking over the vision that the Maximoff girl had got in his head, the last thing she wanted for her friend was to see him stewing by himself in a barn over the loss of his girlfriend. 

She put down the kitchen towel she’d been using the dry the dishes with and made her way outside, jogging the short distance to the barn. 

He was working on the Barton’s tractor like he’d promised Laura, a solemn and thoughtful expression on his face and she thought he looked adorable and almost normal in one of Clint’s old worn out flannels. 

He looked up when he saw her, gesturing for her to come in. “Doesn’t need much work,” he told her. 

She nodded. “You okay?” 

“Oh yeah. I’m always okay.” 

“Well, I hope you’re coming to dinner with the rest of us. Laura cooks a mean ham and potatoes.” 

He smiled, but it didn’t quite catch his eyes. “I’ll be there in a minute.” His eyes swept over the enclosed space. “It’s pretty private in here, isn’t it? Good to get away from the tight quarters in there for a minute.” 

“Yeah, I suppose so. I wouldn’t sleep in here though, if that’s what you’re thinking. Clint has a bed for you inside.” 

He snorted. “Me, sleep on a pile of hay?” 

She laughed. 

He raised an eyebrow suggestively. “It could be good for a quick go at it though. What do you say?” 

She rolled her eyes. “I will never do it with you in a barn, Tony.” She walked away, holding the door open for him and glancing behind to make sure he was following. 

“Wait, just in a barn? Or like, ever?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: It gets pretty steamy and smutty in this chapter and will likely be hot and heavy from here on out.

It had been a month and a half since Bruce had vanished without a trace and Tony had officially resigned from active duty as an Avenger. Clint was also much less active these days and Thor had gone back to Asgard, but Natasha was still keeping busy helping Steve train the new recruits. 

Nothing had been quite the same since the founding members had fought their last mission together and they all avoided talking about Sokovia if they could, as they were still counting their losses, but mostly she was content to move on and take the team in a new direction. 

Tonight, however, Tony was coming back to the compound to throw a benefit banquet to raise money to repair some of the damage they’d caused in Sokovia, and of course any of the current and former Avengers who were still on the planet would be making an appearance. It was the least they could do to try to make amends for the unfortunate consequences of their mistakes.

Natasha was wearing a dark blue cocktail dress and was arm in arm with Clint as they arrived to the event after it had started. 

“Alcohol first,” Clint said and she eagerly agreed. 

Like at any Stark-sponsored event, the large crowd of people that had gathered were spread all over the ballroom, talking, laughing, dancing and drinking and generally having a good time. 

Once they each had a glass in their hands they moved through the crowd to try to find their friends, spotting Steve and Rhodey chatting near a wall, Wanda and Vision dancing in a corner and Sam with an attractive blonde. 

“If it isn’t my favorite pair of deadly assassins,” a voice said behind them and she whirled around to find their host, looking like a billion dollars in a red and silver suit with matching glasses and flashing them a dazzling smile. 

He embraced each of them in turn, giving Natasha a lingering kiss on her cheek. 

“Think I’m going to go find Sam and Cap,” Clint said. He turned to Natasha. “You going to be okay for a bit?” 

She nodded. “I’ll catch up with you in a minute.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her,” Tony assured him. 

“Hey, handsome,” she said once Clint was out of earshot. “This is a great party.” 

“Man, Banner’s an idiot,” Tony said, looking her up and down. “You look absolutely stunning in that dress.” 

“It’s good to see you too, Stark,” she said with smile and slightly flushed cheeks that had to be from the alcohol. 

"It’s always a pleasure to see you, my dear,” He said. He nodded to the bar. “Can I get your next drink?” 

She thought for a moment, taking in his easygoing form, admiring expression and devastatingly attractive grin. “That depends,” she said. “You still single?” 

He raised an eyebrow in surprise, gazing at her over the top rim of his glasses. “Yeah. You still into science geeks?” 

“There’s nothing geeky about you, Stark,” she said in a low voice. 

He signaled to the bartender, placing a couple of bills in the guy’s hand and waiting for him to place their drinks on the bar before picking them up and handing her glass to her.   
He downed his fast and she followed his example, polishing off her vodka in a record amount of sips. 

“Come on,” he said, reaching for her hand. “Let’s dance.”

She looked out at the crowd in alarm, but the music was fast and loud and he was so confident and everyone else was clearly having a good time and she figured that it couldn’t do any harm, so she let him lead her to the dance floor. 

He pulled her against him, moving fast to the beat of the music and she wondered idly for a moment if she’d ever seen him actually dance at one of his parties, but she couldn’t recall. 

He was more coordinated than she would have expected him to be and she moved closer to him, her body mirroring his moves. 

“You’re pretty good at this,” she told him. 

“I’m good at a lot of things,” he said suggestively. 

“I’m sure you are,” she purred. 

He watched her face for a moment, clearly trying to assess her reaction before he plotted his next move and she wondered how much of it was an act and how much of it was serious. 

“What are you thinking about?” She asked him. 

“I’m thinking that Banner really is an idiot for not getting this close to you when he had the chance,” He murmured. 

“How close?” She asked quietly, not taking her eyes off of his. 

“This close,” He replied, pulling her against him and moving his hands to her waist, his gaze matching hers in an unspoken challenge. 

She wrapped an arm around his neck as they moved, pushed her hips up against his in answer to his challenge and the look of surprise that passed across his features only lasted for a second before she saw the gears turning in his head again, probably wondering how far he could push her. 

He moved his hands over her hips, grinding her against him in a bold move as they danced and her body responded to him instantly.

She turned around, pressing her back to his front and reaching up to thread her hand through his hair as they continued to groove to the beat. 

“Damn, this is getting dangerous,” he murmured into her ear, his breath hot on her neck as he lowered his hands to her thighs, still moving in time to the music. 

She bumped back into him, inhaling sharply when she felt what he meant by dangerous, his hands still on her thighs, and if he moved them up any higher he’d realize that he was having the same effect on her. 

“Shit,” he nearly moaned. 

“What?” She breathed, batting her eyes as she gazed up at him. 

“Wanna make out?” He asked, leaning into her touch as she pushed her fingers through the hair at the back of his head. 

“What would you do if I actually said yes this time?” 

He turned her around, pulling her flush against his chest and kissing her, eyes closed behind his glasses and she tasted whiskey on his tongue that probably cost more than a few months’ rent at her apartment and she felt herself start to get wet for him.

She kissed him back, almost not caring who saw but then he was leading her away from the crowd and she followed.

They turned down a corner, kissing and grabbing at each other and she tugged his collar, urging him closer to her as she pushed him up against a wall, feeling drunk on the alcohol on his breath and the intoxicating pressure of his lips against hers alone. 

He lowered his mouth down her neck, switching their positions so he was pressing her into the wall and they stumbled a few feet as they kissed, each trading the dominant hand.

“Are you sure?” He asked a little breathlessly.

She swallowed hard. 

“I could take you upstairs right now, make you forget that Bruce Banner ever existed, but we still have to look at each other after this, right?” 

She nodded, suddenly very aware that they were alone in an empty hall while the party was still going on in the ballroom. 

“We should probably stop before this goes any further,” he said softly, his gaze on her mouth. 

“Probably,” she agreed, squeezing her thighs together when he unconsciously licked his lips. 

“It’s a bad idea,” He added, his gaze dropping to her cleavage. 

“Such a bad idea,” she said quietly, taking a deliberate step towards him. 

“Especially since getting over you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do,” he said softly. 

She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. “What?” 

He looked back at her, a different expression that she couldn’t quite identify suddenly taking over. 

“When?” She whispered. 

“When we first met. Uh, for real.” 

“You never told me that….” 

He shrugged. “I thought you knew. “ 

“Definitely not,” she said with a slight frown, still clearly trying to figure out if he was serious. 

"Yeah, well. You might’ve been the only one.”

Her forehead narrowed into a puzzled expression. “But now you’re over me?” 

“Are you over Bruce?” 

She nodded, taking another step towards him. “Are you over me?” She whispered. 

“I want you, if that’s what you’re asking,” he whispered back, his arms encircling her waist again and the tingling between her legs grew more insistent at his words. 

She slid her hands up his neck and into his hair again. “I want you to want me,” she said quietly.

He leaned down to kiss her again and she pressed herself up against him, moaning softly into his mouth.

“Like this?” he said, moving a thigh between her legs. 

She hissed slightly, pushing her tongue in his mouth to escalate the kiss and his hands were on her thighs again, hiking up her dress and moving his hands over her ass. 

“Tony,” she whispered, spreading her legs apart as he trailed his hands back to her front, inching one up higher between her thighs. 

“Or maybe we should stop before this gets to be too much.” 

She pulled slightly away, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Can you take these off for a second?” She asked, tapping on the side of his glasses. 

He obliged, shoving them into one of his pockets. 

“What do you mean, too much?” 

He shrugged. “We still have to be able to work together, after. Maybe it’ll be too much of a mistake and you’ll regret it and resent me in the morning.” 

She shook her head. “Tony…” 

“Maybe you'll start to dwell on the things you hate about me. Or maybe you’ll hate yourself a little for hooking up with me,” He added quietly, running a hand down her hair.

“Tony, look at me,” she demanded, cupping her hands on either side of his face and tilting his head back. “After all we’ve been through? I don’t have any regrets about you. And I could never, ever hate you.” 

She leaned her head up to kiss him, still holding onto his face as she pressed her lips firmly against his. 

After a moment, he relaxed into the kiss, holding her against him and letting his hands wander back down to her behind.   
She arched into him, pressing him into the wall and their kisses grew heated again. 

His hands slowly traced the curve of her ass under her dress before he moved them back around to her front and between her thighs where he’d left off. 

“Tony,” she whispered after a sharp intake of breath.

“Nat,” he breathed. “You didn’t think I was going to leave you hanging, did you?” 

“Mmmmm…..” she breathed as he slipped his fingers into her underwear, his breath shuddering when he found out how wet she was. 

“Shit,” he moaned, his pupils dilating. He pushed a couple of fingers inside her, lowered his mouth to kiss her neck as he started to pull them out, then pushed them back in as he slowly began to pleasure her. 

“Oh, God,” she moaned. 

“You’re so hot,” He murmured as he continued to finger her. “I want you so bad.” He sucked down the length of her neck, lowering his head to kiss between her breasts, his thumb pressing against her clit and she came. 

“Damn,” he whispered as she gasped into his shoulder. 

He kissed her hard, pulling her against him and she nipped lightly at his bottom lip. 

“Do you want me to go down on you?” She asked huskily.

“Huh,” he said. “Of course the only answer to a question like that is yes. But actually, I’d rather nail you against this wall.” 

“I thought you said we shouldn’t do that,” she said with wide eyes. 

“Yeah, I changed my mind,” he replied, reaching down to hike her dress up even further. 

She untucked his shirt from his pants, hastily undoing his belt buckle and kissing him roughly as he moved his hands down to unzip his fly. 

He kissed her back, slowly sliding down her panties and pressing himself into her and she moaned as she bucked up against him. 

He slowly backed her up against the wall as they kissed and she encircled her arms around his neck, tugging roughly at his hair and he lifted her up effortlessly as they continued their heated kissing. 

She wrapped her thighs around his waist and he held her, his arms helping to support her weight and she cried out when he pressed into her, ducking his head into her shoulder and groaning deeply as he pushed. 

She rolled her hips, finding an angle to take him as he started to thrust, his lips finding hers again and they kissed heatedly as they moved together, tongues battling for dominance as they swallowed each other’s moans. 

He came fast and hard, his breaths coming in short, shallow pants and he stood still for a moment as he leaned her against the wall, her hands buried in his hair and her mouth against his forehead. 

“Oh, yeah. I ‘m totally over you,” he said as she untangled her legs from around him and he set her back down. 

She grinned against his mouth as they kissed once more.


	6. Chapter 6

Even though he’d taken a break from active combat, during the six months after the Sokovia benefit gala Tony stayed true to his word and still served the team as a consultant. Natasha knew he kept in frequent touch with Steve, and she also suspected that he was in contact with Nick Fury more than she was these days. 

She herself had seen him twice since they’d gotten physical in the hall, and if someone would’ve told her that it would be easier to be friends with him after they’d had sex, she would’ve sucked it up and done it years ago. He was definitely more relaxed, both around her and the other Avengers, with less nervous energy and more intent focus. At some point, she’d even heard that he and Pepper were on again (or was it off again?). 

The first time she saw him after the party was about two months after it had happened; he was building a new level in the compound, and he’d stayed there with them for three days while he oversaw the extension. Per his usual style, he’d jokingly invited her into his bed, but only once during the three days, and she was sure he was kidding, although she did sort of get the sense that if she had decided to crawl in between his sheets he would’ve made good on the mock invitation. 

There was something easy about him, his smile was a little more genuine and his cheeks were flushed with a healthy glow and he’d seemed generally happier than she’d ever seen him. She thought that it was probably a good thing for him that he and Pepper were back together and she was truly glad for him. 

The second time she saw him she was on an assignment with Sam, trapped on top of a building in New Mexico after his newly upgraded wings had malfunctioned, so of course she called Tony to ask him a technical question, thinking he’d explain it to them over the phone and they’d fix it and move on. Of course, Tony came in person to do it himself and he’d taken them both out to lunch after and it had been a good day, one of the best she’d had in awhile and she couldn’t help feeling a pang in her chest when he had to go back home. 

Since then, she’d found herself calling him several times to seek his counsel and he’d given her some pretty sound advice and often enough that she was starting to think of him more and more as a mentor figure. 

Now she sat cross-legged on her bed in her room at the compound with her cell phone in her hand, her thumb hovering over his contact information as she debated whether or not to call him for something that would probably seem inconsequential to him. 

Before she could stop herself, she was pressing the icon next to his name and the phone was ringing. 

He picked up on the third ring, his voice sounding bright and genuinely pleased to hear from her and she could practically picture the way his eyes would’ve been crinkling at the corners and his dimples would’ve been showing if he was smiling wide enough. 

“Nat!” He said happily. “To what do I owe the pleasure this time?” 

“The media, actually,” she replied. “We’ve got a scheduled press conference tomorrow to discuss the new direction we’re taking with the Avengers and Steve wants me to handle it.” 

“Yeah, I totally agree with him on that one,” he said. 

“You do? But you know my track record with the media,” she said, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice. “They hate me. Not like you, they all love you.” 

“Until they don’t,” he said with a chuckle. “Besides it’s not about who likes you or doesn’t like you.”

“And I’m not so good with the telling people what they want to hear thing. But you, on the other hand….. ” 

“Let me stop you right there,” he interrupted. “See, it’s not about telling them what they want to hear. It’s about you, saying what you want to say in a way that they think they want to hear it.” 

She nodded slowly. “I guess that makes sense.” 

“Just know the point you want to make, and make it. Believe me, you have no problem with being clear about what you want. You’ll be fine.” 

“Thanks, Tony,” she said smiling into the phone. 

“My pleasure,” he said jovially. “You know you can call me at anytime. Just know that if it’s too late, you’d better be wearing something hot and you’d better be ready to describe it in vivid detail.” 

She rolled her eyes even though he couldn’t see. 

“Anyway, I’m coming by in three weeks, so make sure my room is ready.” 

“You are?” She asked excitedly. 

“Yeah, I have a scheduled meeting with Steve and Hill.” 

“Six months into non-active duty and you just can’t help but stay active, can you?” 

“Okay, I’m really biting my lip here to keep from saying something about you helping me to stay active that’s going to have you kicking my ass when I see you, so I better hang up before it slips out.” 

“Goodbye, Tony,” she said with a grin.


	7. Chapter 7

It was well after midnight when she heard the screams. If she could hear them, that meant everyone else who was home could hear them too and probably half the floor had been woken up by now, but she didn’t think any of them would dare go into his private space and risk a hand repulsor blast to the face. Her reflexes, on the other hand, were much better than that. 

In less than thirty seconds she was at his quarters, closing the door behind her and climbing onto the bed. “Tony,” she whispered, gripping his shoulders firmly. “Tony, wake up.”  
He started at the physical contact, but he was clearly still in distress, his short, gasping breaths almost louder than his screams, large beads of sweat shining on his neck and forehead and rolling down his temples.

She threw her arms around him, one wrapped tightly around his waist, the other wrapped around his head, holding him practically in her lap as she stroked his sweat-soaked hair. “It’s okay, you’re okay,” she murmured softly. “You were having a nightmare. You’re safe at the compound.” 

His shoulders were shaking violently, his heart pounding and he was still gasping for air as he clutched at her. 

“Tony, honey, you’re panicking. You need to breathe. Come on, sweetie, deep breaths. Do it with me.” She modeled the breathing for him, taking deep even breaths until she felt him start to do the same. 

“That’s it, in through your nose, out through your mouth.” She began to move back and forth, rocking slowly with him in what she hoped was a soothing motion. 

“It’s the vision,” he said quietly once he could speak, his voice catching on every other word. “You were all dead. You first. And I couldn’t—I couldn’t do anything.” 

“Sssshhhhhhhh,” she murmured, pressing her lips to his temple. “I’m right here. And everyone else is asleep in their beds. ” 

She slipped her hand down the front collar of his shirt, gently rubbing his chest. “Okay?” She whispered. 

He nodded slowly, still rocking with her.

“It’s never going to stop,” he mumbled. 

“Tony, you know…. your demons are just that. Just demons.” 

He gulped a couple more breaths, leaning into her. 

“I’m going to go get you some water,” she whispered into his hair as she slowly started to untangle herself. 

“No,” he said firmly, his hand closing around her wrist. “Don’t go. Just stay here.” 

“Okay,” she said softly, still holding him. “Okay.” 

He turned into her, reaching his hands to her face and kissing her, hard. 

She buried her hands in his hair, opening her mouth to him when his tongue demanded entrance. 

His kisses were rough and desperate and he grabbed onto her, lowering his hands down her shoulders and across her chest, groping her firmly through her clothes while his mouth devoured her. 

She tugged on his hair, slid her fingers through the wet strands, her nails scratching his scalp in a way that made him groan into her mouth. 

He lowered his mouth down her neck, sucking and biting her flesh and she knew she’d have to get creative with makeup in the morning to hide the evidence of his passion. 

She shivered against him, her body already responding to his kisses, nipples hardening under her shirt as he sucked her earlobe into his mouth and an aching tingle starting to spread between her legs. 

“Tony,” she breathed as he squeezed her breasts through her shirt, his mouth reclaiming hers while his thumbs discovered the evidence of the effect he was having on her. 

“Nat,” he moaned. “Need—“ 

“What is it, Tony?” She murmured, letting her own hands wander down his stomach, feeling his muscles clenching under his shirt. “What do you need?” 

He kissed her harder, pushing against her until he had her pressed into the mattress and he was on top of her, his hips between her legs and his hands tangled in her hair, pulling her head back as he moved his mouth down her throat. 

She pushed her hands under his shirt, touching his warm, soft skin and she reached for the hem at the same time he did, helping him to pull it off over his head. 

He nearly tore her shirt as he tried to get it off in between heated kisses and she moaned softly as his mouth got lower and lower until he was kissing her breasts, sucking her nipples and she was practically squirming beneath him as her body reacted wildly. 

She could feel him through the thin fabric of both of their pajama pants as he pressed against her, his hands moving over her breasts so he could kiss her mouth. 

His kisses were rough but his mouth was soft and she knew she was getting wet from all the stimulation. His hands were strong and firm as they wandered her body and she wanted to touch him too, so she spread her hands across his chest, moved them over his shoulders and all over his back. 

His fingers teased at the waistband of her pajama pants, brushing against her skin and she raised her hips when he started to tug. 

Her panties were soaked through by the time he shoved a hand inside them and he groaned loudly as he pushed a couple of fingers inside her. 

“Oh, you really want it,” he said, rubbing her in a way that caused her muscles to spasm around his fingers. 

“You,” she said softly, her hands gripping either side of his face and forcing his head to look at her. “I want you,” she breathed. 

He leaned down to kiss her again, slightly softer this time, and he pulled his pants and boxers down, gripping himself and pressing into her.

She cried out when he pushed and he moved his mouth over hers, swallowing her moans as he began to thrust. 

She slid her hands down his back, nails skimming across his skin and she felt him shiver before she settled her hands on his ass, urging him on. 

He moved faster and faster, skin slick with sweat as he pressed his body against her and she clutched him tightly, moving her mouth down his throat, sucking his neck as he thrust harder and deeper, wrapping her legs around his waist and he was moving fast, so fast that she came hard before she even realized what was happening and then he was coming, a loud grunt escaping his throat. 

He didn’t let go of her when it was over, so she kept her hold on him, clutching him tight against her chest until she had to shift their positions so she could breathe, and then he was pressed into her side, face buried in her shoulder with her arms wrapped all the way around his back, stroking him softly.


	8. Chapter 8

The months went by and Natasha and Steve had their hands full preparing the new Avengers for a New York scale attack and helping them fine tune their abilities and teach them some new skills. 

Tony was more involved in other projects and less involved with Avengers business and soon the phone calls and texts were few and far between. He hadn’t had a reason to come back to New York in awhile and it seemed like forever since she’d seen him and if she stopped to think about it, it practically was. Almost six months had passed since his last stay at the compound and this was the longest stretch of time she’d gone without seeing him in the five and a half years since they’d met. 

She didn’t dwell on it though, and she didn’t really have much time to think about it as she’d been with Steve and Sam, tracking Brock Rumlow for months, in addition to all of her other responsibilities.

Honestly, she hadn’t even realized how much she missed him until the day she saw him on television. 

The news station she’d had on in the background was covering one of his events and she’d frozen in place when she heard his voice, turning around slowly to give him her full attention as if he was really there, standing in the middle of the common room as he spoke about the progress his company was making with clean energy and encouraged whoever was listening to work towards a sustainable future. 

There he was, perfect hair, neatly pressed suit, dark glasses and wide charming smile and she felt an ache inside that might have been there the whole time, only she’d just noticed it now. She reached into her pocket for her cell phone, thinking that she’d shoot him a quick text just to say hello and her whole face lit up when she realized that he’d already texted her, Hey. Giving the commencement address at MIT next weekend. You going to be around? 

She smiled brightly as she typed her reply, Yeah, I’ll be here. 

His response came a second later, Great, let’s do lunch. My treat. X 

Of course she told him she’d meet him and she was really looking forward to it too. But then they found Rumlow and with the end of his life, her life and the lives of her fellow Avengers were changed forever. She never would get the chance to have that lunch with Tony. 

XXXXX

She watched silently as Secretary Ross left the room. Her eyes met briefly with Rhodey’s, but he didn’t say anything either and she moved from where she’d been leaning forward against the back of a chair to walk across the room and stand beside Tony. 

He held out an arm when he saw her approach and she stepped up to him, leaning into his side as he wrapped his outstretched arm around her waist and drew her in, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. 

His other hand moved to his face, lightly pinching the bride of his nose as he sighed dramatically. 

Truth be told, she thought he was doing a great job all things considered. As usual, he projected a harsh confidence and was all sass when the secretary was around, but now with just the three of them in the room, she saw that slight flicker of fear in his eyes that she’d seen on and off in his expression throughout the years, ever since she’d caught him in a private moment in his office all that time ago. 

Even with all that, he still seemed sure of himself and ready for anything and despite his insistence that he hadn’t brought an Iron Man suit, she was pretty sure he had a way of activating one anyway. It had been almost a full year since he’d resigned from active duty, but old habits die hard and she tried not to think too much about where he was hiding it. 

“I still don’t know how you do it,” she murmured. 

“What choice do I have?” He replied. 

“Always a rockstar,” she said quietly, and finally the corner of his mouth tugged upward a little. 

She watched him carefully, admiring his quiet resolve. She envied his passion for the future and his unwavering belief in it. Which is why she’d decided to support him in this, seeing it as the only way to keep the team and everything they’d been working for intact. 

“You should eat something, Tony,” Rhodey spoke up, bringing her back from her thoughts.

He waved him off with a gesture of his hand. “I don’t have time. We’ve got some serious work to do.” 

XXXXX  
An hour later, Natasha came back to the meeting room to find Tony alone, typing something into his device at a ferocious speed. 

"Here,” she said, setting a plate down on the table. “I made you a sandwich.” 

He looked up, a grateful expression on his face and she was mildly surprised when he bit into it without a fuss. 

She watched him for a moment as he ate, half paying attention to the task and half paying attention to his phone. The drawing of the Accords and the split of the team had really taken a toll on him. Aside from being clearly distraught but trying to hide it when people were around, he looked tired and a little worn and did his beard always have that much gray in it? 

“You should also try to get some rest. Rhodey’s right. We need you strong and healthy now.” 

He looked up at her. “I’m not leaving until this is resolved.” 

She shrugged. “Your bedroom is right where you left it.” 

“We both know I can’t exactly go up there,” he said quietly. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she replied just as quietly. 

She moved into the hall, returning a moment later with a pillow and a blanket that she set on the couch. 

“I know you won’t sleep, but you should still try to relax for a little bit until the secretary gets back.” 

He nodded, taking a seat on the couch and pulling the blanket over his legs. “Thanks,” he murmured, lifting the blanket and patting the space next to him. 

She sat down beside him and he wrapped half the blanket over her, his arm moving around her shoulders and she leaned her head against him. 

“Maybe I’ll just rest my eyes for a second,” he said softly, propping his head against the back of the couch. 

She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and he turned his head to press a kiss into her hair. She smiled into him, kissing his cheek and he kissed her temple, her nose, and then her mouth. 

She kissed his lips before resting her head against his shoulder again and he held her hand under the blanket. 

After a moment, he kissed her again, and then he kept kissing her, soft and tender and she kept kissing him back just as softly. 

She couldn’t quite pinpoint when it had happened, but something had shifted between them. Even with their world crumbling around them, she felt safe in his arms, safe holding his hand, safe as they kissed gently. 

“Let’s just go somewhere after this,” she suggested, gazing at their conjoined hands sticking out from under the blanket. 

“Like on vacation, or like run away together?” He asked. 

“I kind of like the idea of running away together.” 

He pursed his lips, pretending to think about it. “We could get a cabin in the woods.” 

She raised an eyebrow. “You? In a cabin?” 

He shrugged. “No one would ever think to look for us there. I say cabin it is.”

She pressed her lips to his again while she entertained the thought.

The door opened suddenly and Rhodey peeked his head into the room, not even blinking when he saw them cuddling on the couch. 

He nodded to Tony. “Ross is here for you again.” 

Tony groaned, reluctantly standing up. “Alright. Send him in.” 

XXXXX

Her eyes widened in disbelief as she registered the words he was saying to her as they stood by the window. He was broken and defeated and his guard was up, clearly still grieving over his friend’s serious injuries and she felt pretty bad herself. It could’ve been much worse for Rhodey, much, much worse and it would’ve been on them. Along with everything else they would spend the foreseeable future paying for with blood and guilt. 

His expression was harsh and stone like, his eyes dulled by the pain and hurt. Rhodey may have been the one lying in a hospital bed, but it was Tony who was paralyzed by his fear. 

His tone was harsh, his words sharp and she swallowed thickly. 

“You’re unbelievable,” she spat back, her own tone unkind.

“Are you displeased?” He asked visciously. 

“Yeah,” she said. “I am. After how far you’ve come, you’re still that scared mess of a man you were all those years ago.” 

She stalked off without turning back, knowing that if she looked too long at him she wouldn’t do as he asked and leave.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This one is pretty smut heavy.

“You did what?” Natasha hissed into the phone. 

“I didn’t mean for it to go that far,” Steve said defensively. 

“How could you?” She whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Nat, there’s more….” 

She put a hand to her face as if she was trying to shield herself from the horror of Steve’s account of what had happened in Siberia and the state that he and Bucky had left Tony in. 

“Congratulations, Steve. You just broke him,” she replied angrily. 

“I know you’re upset, and I get it. I’m not too happy with myself at the moment. And honestly, I’d go back if I could, but I can’t.” At least he had the decency to sound regretful.  
“Why are you telling me this?” She said, a sniffle punctuating the question. 

He was quiet for a moment on the other end. Finally, he said, “Because if I ever knew you at all, and I think I do… then you were already on your way to him.” 

She glanced up at the tall palm tree she was standing under, her teeth grinding together as she fought to compose herself. “It’s done, Steve. Nothing will ever be the same again.” 

“I know,” he replied. “And I’m really sorry that you have to be the one to clean up my mess.” 

“I’m not doing it for you,” she said quietly. 

“I know that too. Nat, just…. just take care of him, okay?” 

XXXXX

Her heart was in her throat and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves as she stood outside the door of the luxurious and intimidating Malibu mansion, uncertain of what she’d find. 

He was stone faced when he came to the door, his jaw squared and his shoulders tensed, with no sign of emotion in his eyes, and his demeanor was so imposing that she had to remind herself that there was no doubt that F.R.I.D.A.Y. had alerted him as to who was standing outside and despite it all, he’d still come to the door. 

She tried to keep her resolve and she stood her ground, stepping into his space even though he technically hadn’t invited her in. 

“What are you doing here?” He demanded his voice unkind and his arms crossed over his chest in a painfully protective gesture. 

“I needed to see you,” She evenly, trying to keep her voice calm. 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re family,” she said softly, her emotions giving her away. 

A hurt expression flickered across his face and even though her heart was breaking, a part of her was glad that he no longer looked as viscous as he had a moment ago. 

“Tony,” she whispered, her eyes welling up again. “I made a mistake. I made a mistake, and I’m sorry.” 

His eyes looked away from her, his own tears starting to shine, but he didn’t turn away from her.

She took a tentative step towards him. “I talked to Steve. He told me everything.” 

He slowly began to shake his head.

She continued to approach him cautiously, her arms outstretched towards him, palms up. “Tony, you’re not alone. I’m right here. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.” 

He looked up at her. “He told you everything?” 

She nodded. 

“You should go,” he said quietly, his lower lip starting to tremble. 

“Why?” 

“Because. I wear a mask literally made of iron. And I worked really, really damn hard to build that mask and you…” He moved a hand across his mouth. “You are the only one who can see right through it, and it terrifies me, dammit!” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” she repeated, her voice wavering although her stance was strong. “You can kick me out if you want to, but I’m not moving.” 

“If he really told you everything, then you know.” 

“I know about your parents,” she whispered, a single tear rolling down her cheek. “And I’m so, so sorry, Tony.” 

He opened his mouth to say something else, but he closed it, and then he dropped to his knees in front of her, his face pressed into her stomach and his arms wrapped tightly around her. 

She sucked in a breath in surprise, but her arms went around him, firm around his shaking shoulders and strong on his back. “You break if you need to, but I’m not leaving.”  
He kept his face buried in her shirt and she stood there holding him tight, not caring how long it would take for his shoulders to stop heaving. 

It was awhile before he pulled his face away long enough to look up at her and she kept her eyes on his, her fingers gently smoothing his hair back. 

He held her gaze as he slowly lifted her shirt up, pressing a soft kiss into her bare stomach and she closed her eyes, her hands still in his hair. He kept kissing her and her muscles fluttered as his beard tickled her tummy, but he didn’t stop, his tongue darting out to lick her abs and she gasped. 

He moved his hands from her back around to her front, his fingers slipping down to tease the skin behind the waistband of her jeans as he slowly moved his mouth down her stomach, dipping his tongue into her belly button and nibbling softly at her sensitive flesh. 

“Tony….” she whispered, her fingers tightening their grip on his hair. 

He slowly undid the button on her pants, his mouth still teasing her belly as he dragged the zipper down. He gazed up at her, his hands moving around her back to tug her pants down over her bottom and then he lowered his face, pressing his nose into the soft silk of her damp panties and inhaling deeply. 

“God, you’re intoxicating,” he murmured, pulling her underwear down and kissing her before he darted his tongue out to taste her. 

She cried out when she felt his tongue slide against her, his hands gently caressing her thighs before pushing them apart and she spread her legs for him, holding his head to guide him to where she wanted him and he began to lick her slowly. 

“Oh, God, Tony,” she moaned as her knees started to get weak. “That-that feels too good, I-I can’t..” 

“C’mere,” he murmured, his arms going around her as he gently lowered her down, laying her on the floor. 

He kept one hand between her back and the floor, the other held her hip as he settled himself between her legs, kissing the insides of her thighs before pressing his mouth to her sex again. 

She raised her hips, trying to shove more of herself into his face as he licked into her folds, flicking his tongue over all the right places and she moaned loudly. 

“Oh, yes, yes,” she said as he pushed his tongue inside her, her body reacting wildly to the pleasure as he moved it in and out a few times. 

He lowered his hand from her hip, placing it between her legs and pushing two fingers to rub her inside while he licked over her clit and then he started to suck on it and she came, harder and wetter than she ever remembered. 

“Damn, I missed you,” he murmured, adjusting his position to lean over her. 

“I missed you too,” she whispered. “So much.” 

“Bedroom?” He asked, a little hopefully, and she nodded. 

He helped her up from the floor, fingers laced with hers as he led her to his room and she followed him, forgetting her discarded pants and underwear on the floor. 

He eagerly took her to his bed, kissing her face and neck as she fumbled with his belt buckle and she kissed him back, sucking his earlobe into her mouth as she pushed his pants down while he pulled his shirt off. 

He was quick to undress her the rest of the way too, reaching around to unhook her bra. 

She lowered her mouth to kiss his neck, drinking in his moan as she lightly scraped her teeth across his flesh, her hand reaching into his boxers. 

He inhaled sharply when she wrapped her hand around him, and she ran her thumb across his tip, finding it already moist. 

“Put it in your mouth,” he whispered against her neck.

She grinned wickedly, kissing down his chest and nipping at his ribs before dropping her head down to his hip bone. 

He wiggled his hips impatiently and she closed her eyes for a moment as she felt him hard between her breasts and then she ducked her head the rest of the way down, her tongue sliding along his length and swirling around his tip a couple of times before she took him into her mouth. 

He groaned loudly as she started to go up and down his length. “Unghh, shit, I almost forgot how good you are at this.” 

She began to move faster, pulling him between her lips, moaning softly to let him feel the vibrations from her throat. 

“Nat, wait, stop. You’re going to make me come.” 

She pulled back, gazing at him with a confused expression on her face. 

“I want to be inside you when that happens,” he whispered, his hands cupping her cheeks. 

She nodded, moving closer to him and letting him wrap his arms around her as she pressed her body into his. 

“I want you,” she told him, bucking against him and he moved his hands to her hips to slowly guide her onto him. 

She ducked her head into shoulder as she rolled her hips and he began to thrust up into her, her moans getting louder as she rode him faster and faster until he came. 

He collapsed onto his back, pulling her on top of him and she nestled into him, placing a hand over his chest and her nose into his cheek. 

They were quiet for awhile, just holding each other in the dark. 

“I can’t go back,” he said, breaking the silence. 

“I know,” she replied sadly. 

“But you have to.” 

She shook her head. 

“You have to,” he repeated. “I need you to.” 

She turned her head to look at him. 

“We’re the last ones left,” he started. 

She nodded. 

“But more will come. Eventually. And you,” he slowly trailed a finger along her jaw. “You’re a good girl, Nat. And you’re a much better leader than I will ever be.” 

“Tony…” 

“This thing we built, together. It’s bigger than us now. And I need you to keep it going.” 

“I don’t want to do it without you,” she said softly. “It was supposed to be us. All of us together. It should’ve been us.” 

He raised her hand to his lips, kissing across her knuckles. 

She sighed. “You know, you still owe me lunch.”


	10. Chapter 10

It had been twenty-three days since the world had ended and Tony Stark disappeared. Twenty-three days of an empty, hollow feeling weighing heavy in her gut and her throat. Half the world had turned to dust and it was up to her imagination to figure out whether he’d blown away on the wind, been murdered by an alien, or been lost forever through a portal. She wasn’t partial to any of those options. 

And then, miraculously, he was brought home by a superhuman being with unfathomable powers. She’d wanted to run to him, wanted to throw her arms around him and never let go, but Steve had gotten to him first and the sight of them leaning on each other once again wasn’t entirely unwelcome. 

She watched from a safe distance while Pepper broke down in tears, embracing him fiercely and Rhodey stuck to his side in solid vigilance and relief. She decided she’d patiently await her turn, her heart still trying to process how she felt about this man, her one time annoyance turned dear friend, esteemed mentor, close confidant, and occasional lover, once again coming back to them from death’s door. If he was part cat, surely he’d be out of his nine lives by now. 

She looked on in pained horror at his hurt outburst, finally getting her chance to run to him as he collapsed on the floor in a weakened heap.

XXXXX

He was still unconscious when they got back to the compound, but nobody reacted to that fact. No one talked, no one looked at each other, no one acknowledged anything about what they’d re-lost and how they’d failed. The Avengers went their separate ways, and Natasha went to the medical bay. 

She recalled Bruce saying how the sedative would likely knock him out for the rest of the day and night, but that statistic was based on the average person and this was Tony Stark.   
The room was silent and still and she pushed her way through the glass door, eyes brimming with tears as she gazed upon him. He had his eyes closed, but she knew he wasn’t sleeping. He opened them slowly when he sensed her presence and he attempted to prop himself up, but she shook her head. 

Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times as she tried to think of what to say to him, this man who had once been a pillar of strength, a beacon of light, an icon of hope for the future. Now he looked frail and weak, his bony shoulders hunched over his thin frame, his skin pale and eyes reflecting his defeat. 

She wouldn’t have thought after losing half of her family to Thanos and the other half to the aftermath of Thanos that her heart could break into anymore pieces, but this…. this was something else altogether. 

“Do I still look like a rockstar?” He asked weakly as if he was reading her mind. 

“No,” she said. It had almost sounded like a whimper and she cleared her throat. “You look like you need to eat a couple hundred cheeseburgers, and then you can be a rockstar.” 

He leaned his head to one side as he looked her over. “Blondes have more fun?” He said, gesturing to her hair. 

“I don’t-“ She paused, swallowing thickly. “I don’t see how any of this is fun,” she said quietly. 

“Come here in this bed and I’ll show you,” he replied. 

She slowly made her way over to him, sitting gingerly on the bed and then the tears started to overflow and spill. 

“Hey, hey. None of that,” he murmured, putting a hand to her shoulder. 

“W-we didn’t.. I didn’t know where you were,” she started, her lower lip trembling. 

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him and she shifted her position to lay next to him. 

“And now he’s gone, and what good did it do?” She asked. His shoulder was digging into her, but she didn’t want to move. 

“Absolutely nothing,” he answered. He gently smoothed her hair back, and a second later she broke down, sobbing into him. 

He leaned into her, holding her against his body while she cried. “Not much of a shoulder to cry on,” he mumbled apologetically. 

“What are we going to do now?” She whispered shakily. “Where are we supposed to go from here?” 

“I don’t have an answer to that.” 

She raised her head to look at him and he held a hand up to her face, gently brushing her tears from her cheek with his thumb. “Is it wrong that I’m just so relieved to see you, that it’s hard to care about anything else right now?” 

He shook his head, hugged her close. “No, darling. I’m glad to see you, too. I don’t know what I would’ve done if….” He let his words trail off, shuddering at the thought. “Well, I’m just really glad I didn’t have to lose you too.” 

She ducked her head into his chest. His skin was warm and he still smelled like him, but she could feel his ribs through his robe. She thought for a moment, reaching for the reactor that was on top of the nightstand next to the bed. 

She paused, clearly trying to figure out where to put it. “How does this thing attach?” 

“You don’t attach it,” He told her, watching her. ”It’s nanotech. It’ll recognize my body heat and bond with my skin.”

She slowly and carefully placed it over his chest, right in the middle of his scar from the old one and she fixed her gaze on it, watching as it did exactly what he said it would do. 

“Does it make you feel any better?” She asked. 

He shook his head. 

“Well, then I doubt anything will,” she said miserably. 

He was quiet for a long moment as he stared off into space, slowly stroking her hair. 

“Pepper’s pregnant,” he said after awhile. 

Her eyes widened. “What?” 

“Yeah.” He sniffed. “Can you believe it? She’s having a baby. Half the world lost everything, kids, parents, siblings… and I’m going to have a kid.”

“Wow,” she said, trying to process his news. 

“And you know what I keep thinking?” 

She shook her head. 

“How am I supposed to be happy about this? How am I supposed to move on with my life, raise my kid in this…. this world, knowing what we lost, when there are so many people out there who lost it all because we couldn’t hold it down?” 

“You can’t think like that, Tony. It’s not just on you.” 

He leaned his head back against the pillow, exhaling deeply through his nose. 

“You’ll figure it out,” she said softly. “We’ll all have to, at some point.” 

“What are you thinking?” He asked, turning his head to look at her. 

“I don’t know,” she said truthfully. She started to straighten herself up, but he pulled her back down, his hand closing around her wrist. 

“Where are you going?” 

“I don’t know,” she said again. 

“Don’t go,” he said, looking into her eyes. “I just got you back. I don’t want to lose you all over again.” 

“I…” She stopped. “I don’t want to lose you either.” 

“Good. Then just stay for a bit.” 

“Well, I can’t exactly sleep here.” 

“Why not?” He asked. “Just stay.” He shifted their positions so he was on his side, facing her. 

“Okay,” she whispered, running a hand through his hair. “I guess I could stay for a little bit.” 

He leaned over and pressed his lips against hers, softly and she kissed him back. She slowly ducked her head in the crook of his neck, letting herself relax into him again, and he turned his hips to press into her. 

Her eyes widened in surprise and she froze. 

“What? The world ended and I’m still hot for you,” he said. “Is that a crime?” 

She shook her head. “I don’t know.” 

“C’mere,” he murmured, kissing her again. 

She closed her eyes as she leaned into his embrace, her lips puckering against his. 

He deepened the kiss, gently guiding her hand underneath the blanket. 

“Tony, I don’t know…” she whispered. 

“Come on. If you don’t do it I’m just going to do it myself,” he said, his lips still pressed against hers. 

"Can you even? I mean, should I?" She said doubtfully.

He sighed. "It's fine. I promise, I won't have a heart attack if you jerk me off." 

She slowly reached into his pants, exhaled loudly as she wrapped her hand around him and moved her wrist until he squirted all over her hand. 

“Did that make you feel better?” She asked. 

“No,” he said. “You?” 

“No.” She wrapped her arms around him and hid her face in his shoulder, once again overcome with the urge to throw her arms around him and not let him go.


	11. Chapter 11

Losing everything felt a lot like it sounded, but still Natasha was determined to keep everyone together as much as she could. Though on most days she felt hollow on the inside, she did her best to keep up some semblance of normalcy at the compound and for the most part whoever was left seemed grateful. Rhodey, Rocket, Okoye, and Carol met with her often and on a semi-regular basis, and for that she was grateful if not for something to do.

It was the people she considered her immediate family that she missed the most in the idle minutes and hours. They’d all gone to the hospital to be with Tony and Pepper when Morgan was born, but that was about it as far as group contact. 

Steve checked in every now and then, but most of the time he was busy with his own self-imposed mission of keeping up the norm. Thor had huddled himself away, and no one had seen or heard from him since the day they’d returned from the Garden, although she had heard that he was living amongst his people. Bruce kept in contact as much as he could, but now that he was working on a special project his calls were few and far between. 

She hadn’t seen Tony in a long time, but he sent her the occasional text. Mostly selfies with his baby daughter that made her face smile at his overly goofy expressions and her heart tug with the notion of how much she missed him. 

And Clint…. well, he’d seemingly lost the most out of all of them and was taking the losses the hardest, only she’d been too busy trying to get everything back that she hadn’t even noticed in the early days. 

When there was no one around that needed her guidance, companionship, or attention she kept up with her training as it was the only thing she knew for sure how to do. Time hadn’t been kind to any of them, but at least she knew she was in top physical shape, with the same quiet strength, killer instincts, and sharp reflexes she’d always had since as far back as she could remember. 

Which is why she was now perfectly confident as she stood on a dark rooftop in a shady part of Barcelona that few people knew about, watching the black hooded figure below with a keen eye. 

She crouched down low, remaining hidden in the shadows while getting into a striking position, cringing silently at the river of blood he’d just unleashed on the streets. 

She was about ready to pounce, checking one last time to make sure she’d still gone unnoticed at that no one else was around in the deserted street. She calculated the distance from her perch to an awning under her, and then from there to the ground and figured the best way to make the least amount of noise possible on her way down. 

With her batons strapped to her back under her jacket and her Widow’s Bite packed around her wrists, she took off, anticipating the impact on the awning below. 

Suddenly, a force came straight at her from the opposite direction, swooping her up into the air before she could land and setting her back down in the shadows on top of another building.

A hard, strong pair of arms were wrapped around her from behind, pressing her into an armored chest plate and a metallic hand covered her mouth as she struggled with all her might. 

She kept up the fight for a few minutes, knowing full well that she’d never be able to beat him while he was in the suit, not when he’d caught her off guard and had the clear advantage. 

She stopped struggling, letting her body relax into him and he removed his hand from her mouth. 

Her eyes narrowed as she watched the hooded figure escape into the blackness without a trace. 

“What the hell are you doing?” She spat, whirling around to face him. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” His faceplate retracted and she glared right into the face of Tony Stark. 

“I almost had him, and you ruined it.” 

“You were being careless and reckless. I just saved your life. You’re welcome.” 

She shook her head. “He wouldn’t hurt me.” 

“You don’t know that!” Tony shouted. “I don’t know that,” he added more gently. 

Her expression softened as she gazed at him. “I just want him back.” 

He sighed. “I know. But it’s too dangerous. He’s not our Hawkeye anymore. I’m sorry, I can’t let you risk your life going after him.” 

“Whatever,” she muttered, turning away from him. “I’ll just have Rhodey tell me the next time he finds anything out.” 

“Colonel Rhodes has been instructed not to give you any further information on the whereabouts of that man,” Tony said evenly. 

“You know, you’re really infuriating sometimes,” she said angrily, jabbing a finger into his chest.

He looked down at her finger, then looked up into her eyes. “Think I’m going to just let you slip away? Huh?” He asked. 

He took a step closer to her despite her outstretched arm clearly putting some distance between them. “Let him go for now. Come back with me, let’s talk.” 

She looked up at him. “We haven’t really spoken in almost two years, Stark. And now you want to talk?” 

“Ouch.” He pouted slightly as he continued to move towards her and she could already feel her resolve faltering. 

“Don’t,” she said quietly. 

“Too late,” he murmured, his hands closing over her wrists. “I’m not letting you go. I lost… almost everyone I know. I lost the kid, I’m not losing you too.” 

“Tony…” 

“Just think for a second. He’s lost right now, and I’m sorry, but clearly there’s nothing you can do to change that right at this moment. Don’t do anything you can’t undo, and don’t make him do something he’ll regret later on.” 

“That’s what I’m trying to save him from,” she whispered, her lower lip trembling. 

“I get that. I do. But whatever you’re planning, it’s not going to work. He’s on his own path now. And you’re on yours. The Avengers are going to need you. Eventually there will be another threat, and you’re the glue holding this team together.” 

She shook her head. “But he’s the glue that’s always held me together, Tony. I’m nothing without him.” 

“Hey,” he said, reaching out a gloved hand to tilt her chin up. “Look, I’m well aware of your history with Barton and the nature of your relationship with him, but that is not true. Maybe it was a long time ago, but not anymore.” 

She swallowed hard, squeezing her eyes shut. 

“He’s gone, Nat. But I’m right here. Come back to my place with me. Please.” 

She opened her eyes, gazing past him into the shadows where the hooded figure had disappeared. 

“Please, Natasha.” 

She looked into his eyes, finding the same fear and desperation that she’d identified in him long ago. Finally, she nodded. “Where’s your plane?” 

“Uh, I don’t have a plane anymore.” 

“What?” She asked, confused. “Then how did you get here?” 

The corners of his mouth tugged up into a half smile as he shrugged. 

“You flew here? That’s six thousand miles! You said you would never wear the suit again.” 

“Yeah, well. Guess I had a good reason.” His faceplate slid down and clicked into place and he held out his arms. 

She stepped into the embrace of a fully armored Iron Man, pressing her face into his shoulder as he lifted her up. 

“You better hold on tight, darling,” he said, firing up the thrusters at his feet and using his left arm to hold her while he took off on the repulsor from his right hand.  
She closed her eyes, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he carried her six thousand miles back to his cabin in the woods. 

XXXXX

She tugged her legs up, sitting cross-legged on his couch with a steaming mug of hot tea in her hands, gazing in awe at her surroundings and taking in the simplistic home built on clean energy that was so different from what she would have expected from him, yet so strangely him at the same time. 

He was busy at the counter, making her an omelet with eggs from the chickens in his yard and she watched him quietly, trying to reconcile this man in this new environment with her dear friend she’d known and loved for more than a decade and a half. 

He looked up, smiling at her when he caught her looking and he winked at her. 

She smiled back, probably her first genuine smile in two years. He brought over two plates, setting them carefully down on the modest coffee table as he sat down beside her. 

“Pretty different, huh?” 

She nodded, poking at her omelet. “You ended up running away to your cabin in the woods after all,” she said, recalling a silly conversation from years ago. She didn’t mention anything about the fact that they’d talked about running away together. 

“Yeah,” he said, gazing at her for a moment with a wistful expression on his face and she wondered if he remembered. 

“Where’s the baby?” She said idly. 

“Pepper has her. Took her away for the weekend. Some kind of mother-daughter bonding thing, I don’t know.” He shrugged. “And she’s not really a baby, anymore. She’s seventeen months now. Starting to be more like a little person. I think I hate it.” 

She smiled. “I bought something for her, awhile back. It’s a jumper dress kind of thing. Purple. I guess I could mail it to you, now that I know what your actual address is. I don’t know, I don’t really know how to shop for kids…” 

He smiled back as he set his empty plate back on the table. “I’m sure she’ll love it. Thank you.” 

She was momentarily distracted by a movement that she caught through the glass door out of the corner of her eye and she turned her attention outdoors, craning her neck. “What the…? Is that an alpaca?” She asked. 

“Oh, yeah,” he said, following her gaze. “That’s Gerald. You can go outside and pet him if you want. He won’t bite.” 

She raised both her eyebrows. “I’m good,” she said. 

He laughed and for a second it was like nothing had changed even though just about everything had. 

She set her mug down and leaned her head against the back of the couch, watching him. 

After a moment he did the same and they talked for awhile, with Tony asking about each member of the team and Natasha asking detailed questions about his retirement. 

When there was nothing more to talk about he turned on the fireplace and reached for the remote, clicking on the television and she was grateful for the background noise as they sat together in companionable silence.

After awhile, she leaned her head against his shoulder and he adjusted his position so he could put his arm around her. 

“Comfortable?” He asked, tilting his chin down towards her. 

She nodded, nuzzling into him. 

“Tasha?” 

“Hmmm?” She murmured. 

“Wanna make out?” He asked softly, just like he’d asked her teasingly all those years ago only this time, there was no hint of teasing to his tone. 

“Okay,” she breathed, leaning closer to him and he kissed her softly. 

She kissed him back, eyes closing as she moved to wrap her arms around his neck, uncurling her legs from under her and hovering above his lap as he moved his hands to her waist. 

He opened his mouth against hers, gently escalating the kiss and she eagerly parted her lips to let him in, sighing softly as his tongue slowly slid over hers. 

His hands moved up to her hair, fingers pushing through the three inches of red where her roots had overgrown. 

“I guess I haven’t really been keeping up with dyeing the blonde….” She said, placing a hand over his at her hair.

He shrugged. “It’s like Strawberry Shortcake,” he said with a grin. 

She wrinkled her nose. “That’s how we know you have a little girl,” she said. “When your references come to that.” 

He chuckled, moving her hair behind her shoulder with his hand, then lightly caressing the length of her neck from just below her ear to the edge of the collar of her t shirt with the backs of his fingers, sending a tingle through her. 

He leaned in close, lowering his head to kiss her neck and she shivered slightly as her body reacted to him. “I could kiss you right here, all night,” he murmured, fingers close to his lips as he ran his thumb over the spot just above her jugular. 

“I wouldn’t stop you,” she whispered, eyes wide as he kissed her again, sucking softly where he’d pointed out. 

She shifted her position from hovering above his lap and he moved his hands down to her waist to hold her while she straddled him. 

“That’s my girl,” he said, leaning back into the couch cushions as she adjusted herself on top of him. 

They continued to kiss heatedly and he clicked off the tv, leaving the crackling of the fireplace as the only noise other than the sounds of their kissing. 

It felt good to be on top of him, his hands wandering restlessly all over her body as she moved while they kissed. She pushed her hands under his shirt, feeling his bare stomach and his muscles tightened under her hands. 

He slipped his hands up the back of her shirt, unhooked her bra and moved his hands to feel her breasts and she moaned softly. 

“Okay?” He asked and she nodded. He tugged her shirt off, slid her bra straps down her shoulders and tossed it aside, taking his hands off of her only long enough to remove his own shirt and they kissed topless, skin pressed against skin. 

He moved his hands over her breasts while they kissed and she started to feel tingly in other parts of her body and a little wet between her legs. 

She lowered her mouth down his jaw, over his neck and collar bones, then kissed his chest, her hands tracing his ribs. She moved her mouth over his nipple, felt him shift under her and she flicked out her tongue. 

He was visibly straining against his pants and she spread her hand over him to feel him through his jeans and he groaned. 

“Damn, Stark,” she breathed. 

He placed steady hands on either side of her waist to sit her up a little bit, shifting their positions and leaning her against the back of the couch so he could mouth at her breasts and she moaned. 

“You’re so hot,” he murmured, reaching a hand down between her legs as he sucked on her nipples and she was sure he’d be able to feel her arousal even through her underwear and leggings. 

“Tony,” she breathed, eyes closed while he kissed and sucked all over her breasts. 

“Do you want to take this to the bedroom?” He asked huskily, moving his mouth back up to kiss her neck. 

“No,” she murmured. “I want you to take me right here.” 

He cupped her face in his hands, kissing her passionately and she moved her hands over his bare back, feeling him breathing heavily. 

“Lay down,” he whispered, one hand sliding behind her head, the other holding her waist as he slowly leaned her back into the couch cushions. 

He kissed her softly as he adjusted himself on top of her and she moved a leg up to his hip as they kissed, pushed her hands through his hair. 

He moved the hand that was on her waist to tug her leggings down and then he caressed her belly, slowly moving his hand down until he was slipping it into her underwear. 

He groaned audibly as he pushed two fingers into her. “’God. I love how wet you get,” he nearly whined. 

“’For you,” she whispered. “I’ve only ever gotten this wet for you.” 

“Okay, say more things like that,” he said, moving his fingers in and out of her sex. 

She moaned deeply into his ear. “You make me feel so good. I want you so bad, Tony.” 

“Fuck, Tasha,” he said, moving his fingers faster. “I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you.” 

She shivered, her body reacting wildly to him. “Tony, please.” 

He pulled his fingers out of her, yanked her panties down and then she heard the unmistakable sound of him tugging his zipper down. 

She moved to help him get his pants and boxers off, reached out to feel how turned on he was and he let her stroke him a few times before he brushed her hand away, wrapping his own hand around himself to push into her and she cried out. 

“Damn, you feel so good,” he said, resting his forehead against hers as he slid all the way in. 

She wrapped her legs around his waist, squeezed him between her thighs as he began to thrust and she started to move with him, her hands sliding through his hair as he leaned down to kiss her softly while they made love in front of the fireplace. 

“Oh, god, Tony, right there,” she moaned as he started to go deeper, his hips rolling against hers. 

“Right here, baby?” He murmured, moving faster. “That your spot?” 

Her eyes widened as he reached a place inside her she’d never let anyone get close enough to reach before. “Shit, Tony, that feels good,” she cried, panting as her body reacted to him in ways she’d never experienced before. 

“Oh yeah, Tash,” he moaned, thrusting faster and deeper as he realized what he was doing to her. “That’s it, baby,” he said. 

She clung to him, her nails digging into his shoulders and he lost control, pumping into her deep enough to send her into a screaming orgasm that set off his own release and he spilled into her while she was still coming and moaning his name. 

“Holy hell, that was hot,” he panted, running his hands through his sweaty hair. 

“Yeah,” she agreed, catching her breath as he rolled off of her. 

“C’mere,” he said. “Let me hold you.” 

She leaned into his embrace, burying her face in his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“I missed you,” he murmured, gently kissing her shoulder. 

“I missed you too,” she whispered, lightly running her fingers up and down his back. “So much you don’t even know.” 

He closed his eyes as he cuddled her and she wrapped her arms around his waist, gazing at the fire over his shoulder as she tried to process what had just happened. 

"Promise me you won't go after Barton alone again," he said softly while she continued to rub his back. 

Luckily he fell asleep before she had to lie to him.


	12. Chapter 12

It was almost three years after what the remaining world now referred to as ‘the snap.’ 

Pepper had sent her an invitation to a birthday party she was throwing for Tony- his fiftieth. In three years no one felt like celebrating, but she and Steve attended the gathering at the cabin anyway. 

The night was even more horrible than anyone had expected. Rhodey was already highly intoxicated by the time they’d arrived, a rare spectacle that she’d never actually witnessed herself. Things were still tense between Tony and Steve, which made things tense between almost everyone else. 

The cabin was loud, making it hard for Pepper to get a now toddler Morgan to bed. Old acquaintances they didn’t recognize drank, talked, laughed, and consumed- much like his parties in the old days. 

Truthfully, she was a little inebriated herself by the time Tony had her cornered on the way back from the bathroom. 

“Please, Nat,” he’d whispered, fingers cold on her arm from the bottle he’d been holding as he ducked her into a dark room. 

She’d tried to play coy, licking her lips and lightly trailing her hand down his chest while she half-heartedly protested, but it was his birthday after all, and much like the first party she’d been to at his house, she ended up backing him into a wall, falling to her knees and undoing his pants. 

His breathing was heavy as she sucked his dick and he couldn’t help letting a small groan escape. “Damn, Nat, that’s good,” he’d whispered in between desperate pants. 

She was greedy for him, licking him in ways she knew would drive him crazy and pulling her lips back and forth while he twitched against her tongue, trying to get him to make that sound again.

Morgan had almost walked in on them—almost, and the party ended with Pepper screaming at him to grow up while someone in the living room cut the music and guests started trickling out the back door leading to the yard. 

“Why?” Steve asked later in the car in a strange tone, possibly angry with himself for not seeing it sooner. 

She shrugged. “Why do you still have a picture of that woman in your compass?” 

He didn’t answer her, but then she hadn’t really expected him to, and they never asked each other about their love lives, sexual or otherwise ever again. 

XXXXX

Five years of navigating through their post-apocalyptic existence, five years of trying to feel something in a gray sea of nothing and they finally had a chance. Only, he wouldn’t do it. 

She watched as he clutched his five year old daughter in his lap, a foreign ache tugging at her heart and she couldn’t help noticing that the girl was wearing the pink cardigan she’d sent them for Christmas. 

The fear was back in his eyes, unmistakable this time as he calmly explained to them why their plan was too dangerous to even attempt although he clearly understood that they would try it anyway. Without him. 

She felt his reasoning deep in her bones and she couldn’t blame him. For quite possibly the first time in the fifteen years she’d known him, she knew that his fear made sense. 

Steve politely declined his invitation to stay for all of them, although she really wanted to stay. 

“Go give Auntie Nat a hug,” he murmured into Morgan’s ear as he set her down on the ground. “Say thank you for the sweater.” 

The little girl shyly and tentatively wrapped her tiny arms around Natasha’s knees, mumbled a quick “thank you for my sweater” before running back into the house. 

Steve and Scott started to turn dejectedly back to the car, but Natasha paused for a moment, then turned around and ran back up the hill to Tony, throwing her arms around his neck. 

He held her close, his arms tight around her in a lingering hug and he pressed his lips softly to her cheek. She looked up at him and he kissed her mouth, an odd expression on his face that seemed detached from the fear and sadness that had been in his eyes. 

They were half a state away, on their way to a diner to meet up with Bruce when she realized that he’d been saying goodbye to her in case he never saw her again. 

XXXXX

She watched from her window on the fourth floor of the compound as Steve and Tony talked by his car, saw him hand Steve his shield and a smile broke out over her face as they embraced. 

With all the work they’d been doing- she, Steve, Bruce, Scott, and Rhodey, now she knew that it would not be for nothing and that they had a real shot. 

She raced to the common room downstairs to greet him and his eyes lit up when he saw her, the corners crinkling behind his glasses and his wide grin contagious.

He pulled her close, kissed her hair and hugged her fiercely, and she buried her face in his chest, breathing him in. 

She took a step back and they looked at each other, a soft, secret smile on his face as he gestured to her hair. 

“Guess I really haven’t been keeping up with dyeing it,” she said, patting it self-consciously. “Do you like this too?” 

“Hell, yeah,” he said, eyes sparkling as he reached out, holding a strand between his fingers and lightly brushing it behind her ear. “What’s not to like? Red and gold, my two favorite colors. It’s hot. Really hot. Like fire.” He winked. “Not let’s get to work.” 

She grinned, leaning up to place a kiss on his cheek. “Welcome home, Stark.”


	13. Chapter 13

Everything was starting to feel right again. She had Clint safe and by her side, the Avengers were all together at the compound, and Tony was barking orders at every one in that special Tony way he had. 

She watched from the ledge as he swung his hips back and forth in a familiar dance as they worked, much to the annoyance of Rocket, but their banter just made everyone else laugh. 

He was himself again- all sass and cocky arrogance as he took command of the compound and she realized that the things about him that used to annoy her she now found incredibly attractive. 

Clint leaned on the rail next to her, making sure she’d seen him roll his eyes and then they walked hand in hand down the stairs to the lab to join the others. 

Tony winked at them when he saw them, made a sarcastic comment to Bruce about getting back to work and Natasha ruffled his graying hair as she walked past him to her post to work on their time machine. 

He froze when he felt her nails scratch across his scalp and she winked back at him. 

XXXXX

“Come be my guinea pig for a minute,” He said, knocking softly at her door even though it was open.

She looked up from where she’d been going through her weapons, nodded and gestured for him to come in. 

He held up a device and handed it to her. “This button on your time travel GPS will activate the suit,” he said, pressing it for her, his eyes shining with excitement. 

A red and white material appeared, similar to the time suit she’d worked on with Bruce and Scott but with a much better design and much more complex technology. She felt exhilarated upon contact, the energy over their next mission palpable and the anticipation of what they were about to do mixed with the overwhelming joy she was experiencing at having her family back under one roof again. 

“Wow,” she said. 

“Like that, huh? Don’t think of it as a suit, think of it more as another layer of skin,” he explained, outlining the ways in which it would protect them in their shrunken states as they navigated the quantum realm. 

“You really did it,” she murmured, gazing at him admiringly. 

“You impressed?” 

“That you’re still a rockstar? Not really,” she said with a slightly teasing smile. “I always knew you had it in you. But this is truly amazing, Stark.” 

He smiled, tinkering with his own device. 

“Hey, Nat,” Bruce’s voice came over her earpiece. “We’re almost ready to get this thing started. We need you down here in twenty minutes. Grab Tony on the way, will you?” 

His eyes widened slightly as he set the device down on her dresser. 

“Roger that, Bruce,” she responded, her eyes locked on his.

“Twenty minutes,” he said, swallowing hard. 

“Yeah,” she said, her gaze falling to his lips. 

“Do you want to?” He whispered. 

“Um… we can’t,” she said, her eyes widening too. 

“Why not?” 

“Because. We only have twenty minutes.” 

His lips puckered into a smirk. “You underestimate me.” 

“It’s crazy,” she added. 

“Really, really not practical,” he said, his pupils dilating. “We shouldn’t. So, do you want to?” 

“I don’t know. Do you?” She asked. 

“I don’t know. Do you?” He repeated, already reaching for her as he kicked the door shut.

“I’ve always wanted to,” she breathed, hands on his belt buckle. 

“Me too. What do you want to do right now?” He asked. 

She looked up at him through thick eyelashes. “I want to do whatever I want to do. With whoever I want to do it with,” she said huskily. 

“God, Tash,” he said as she unzipped his pants.

He pulled his shirt off over his head and she pressed the button on her device to deactivate the suit and it disappeared, leaving her in her bra and panties.

She undid his pants while he eased her onto the bed, his hands everywhere on her body and then they were kissing passionately, her hands tugging roughly on his hair. 

He unhooked her bra, buried his face in her chest as she pulled it the rest of the way off and his hand slipped into her panties. He inhaled sharply as she wrapped her hand around him, starting to move up and down his length and he pulled her underwear down with one hand while the other went to work on her sex. 

She moaned softly, tightening her grip on his dick as she stroked him while he fingered her and then he lowered his head, sucking on her nipples while they pleasured each other and her hand went to his head, fingers pushing through his hair, nails scraping his scalp and then he positioned himself over her, sinking down into her. 

“Twenty minutes, right?” He breathed, pushing into her tight, wet heat. 

“Technically now it’s eighteen,” she murmured, raising her thighs on his hips. 

He gasped as she moved against him and she cried out when he started to thrust, finding that spot inside her. 

“Tony,” she whispered breathlessly, eyes closing as he pushed harder and deeper. 

“How does that feel?” He murmured, leaning his head down to suck her neck. 

“Too good,” she said in between moans as her stomach started to quiver. 

“That’s my girl,” he said, kissing her lips as he moved inside her. 

He whispered sexy things in her ear while they made love, his hands roaming all over her body and she moved her hands to feel whatever parts of him she could reach, wanting to feel his fluttering muscles and heavy breaths for as long as she could. 

She held his face in her hands, tracing her fingers over his lips and his cheeks, moving them through his hair, watching his expression as he was torn between wanting to keep his eyes open to look at her and needing to close them because he felt so good. 

“Tony,” she whispered. “I love you.” 

Her eyes widened for a moment as she realized what had just slipped out and she heard his sharp intake of breath as his eyes widened too.

“I…unghhh,” he moaned, still pushing into her. “I love you too, Tasha.” 

He leaned his forehead against hers as he thrust right into her spot, his eyes locked on hers, arms wrapped possessively around her, holding her as he made love to her and it was so close, so intimate, so sexy. 

“Oh, God, Tony,” she moaned and he increased his pace, speeding up with each thrust and she couldn’t hold back the deep moans of pleasure as she whispered. “That feels good.”

“Baby,” he whispered, rolling his hips into her and he was shaking, his chest pressed against hers and his stomach sliding across hers and it took her a moment to realize that she was shaking too. 

“Don’t- don’t stop,” she cried, pushing against him. 

“I’m not going to stop,” he murmured, breathless as he pumped into her. “I’m not ever going to stop.” 

He kissed her hungrily, eyes closed and lips molding to hers. 

She let out a desperate moan and he came, thrusting so hard while he shook that she came too, so fast and so hard that a tear slipped down her cheek. 

He was still kissing her after she stopped spasming and after he pulled out and she clung to him, holding him on top of her as she kissed him back.

A quick glance at the clock on her nightstand showed her that they’d finished in eight minutes. That meant that she had twelve more minutes to hold him. 

He rolled over onto his back, still panting as he tried to catch his breath and she curled into his chest, her hand sliding over his stomach as he wrapped her up in his arms. 

“I love you,” he said again, smoothing her hair back with his hands. 

“I love you,” she whispered. “So, so much.” 

She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling him breathe against her. 

People in his inner circle liked to joke about his old reactor, their proof that Tony Stark has a heart, but she didn’t need proof. She’d seen it, in intimate moments and tender glances. She’d heard it beneath her ear as she lay on his chest, she’d felt it under her fingertips and her lips, and now beating against her cheek. 

This was home, laying in bed with him, wrapped up in his arms, feeling his warm skin pressed up against her own, his breath on her face and his hands in her hair. She thought for a moment that this was enough- he was enough. And if she never got to be like this with him again, this moment right here would be enough. 

“I think,” he started. “I think I’m going to be retired for good, after this,” he said. 

She smiled into his shoulder, placing a gentle kiss there. “Sounds like a plan. I actually think I might do that too.” 

“Come back to the cabin with me,” he murmured, his fingers softly stroking her back. 

She slid her hand over his belly, felt his muscles twitch at the ticklish sensation. “What?” 

“After this is all over. Come with me. Run away with me, to my cabin in the woods. Just like we wanted.” 

She stopped her hand at his chest, pausing to look at him as she propped herself up on her elbow. “And live with you… and Pepper and Morgan?” She said, her eyebrows raised. 

“Why not? We’ll figure it out. Come on, Nat. We’ve been dancing around this thing between us for years. Maybe it’s time we settle down.” 

She thought for a moment. “Okay,” she said after awhile.

“Really?” He asked, a soft smile spreading across his face. 

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “When all this is done, when we’ve got everyone back. We can talk about it. We’ll figure it out.” 

He pressed a soft kiss into her bare shoulder. 

“Assuming we both make it back,” she added, leaning over him to catch his lips in one last kiss before they had to suit up. 

XXXXX

The Avengers stood in a circle around their time machine as they listened to Steve’s words of encouragement and motivation. The energy was high, and the adrenaline was coursing through her veins as she and Tony took their places on either side of him. 

She smiled a secret smile at Tony, her grin widening when she took in his dilated pupils and messy hair and he winked at her. 

Her cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen from their kissing and part of her hair was falling out of her braid, but she’d never felt better. They were all together again, working towards one last mission that would change their fate and for once, things never looked brighter. 

Steve’s gaze moved from Tony to Natasha, eyes widening slightly as he shot them each a knowing look.

She shifted her weight from foot to foot, anxious to get everyone back and get back to her new future. She didn’t know what exactly it would hold, but Tony’s gaze was steady on hers and she could still feel him inside her. 

Steve finished his speech and they all pressed the middle of their time travel devices. 

“See ya in a minute,” she said with a genuine smile.


End file.
